, , , , , , , ,

The characters Ana and Sebastian (that name will eventually change, but until then I will refer to the character as Sebastian) in my novel ‘A Million and One Miles’ are two of my real-life friends from high school.

“Ana” was a newly devoted Christian who I met when I was 17, and “Sebastian” was my best friend who I had known since elementary school. Although I met Ana just a year before graduation, we immediately connected for some reason. Ana, Sebastian, and I were all well-known at our high school and I didn’t realize it before, but I had never seen Ana and Sebastian ever interact. In any kind of way. I always figured that they had not been properly introduced or that maybe they weren’t each other’s “type of people”.

It wasn’t until I suggested that the three of us hang out that Ana confessed that she did not want to be around Sebastian because he was gay.  He had came out about a month after we graduated, and this was a few years after. I knew that she hated the sin, because God hates the sin. She never knew anything about Sebastian, nor gave him a chance (even before he came out). It only bothered me because it felt like she expected me to give up the friendship because his sexuality was frowned upon. I respected her wishes to not pursue a friendship with Sebastian, but I didn’t understand why she couldn’t do the same with my choice to remain friends with him. She told me that I would go to Hell once. But really, who was I to scorn and isolate Sebastian? I’ve made my mistakes, I don’t want to be a hypocrite.

A sin is a sin. It all weighs the same. Homosexuality does not outweigh adultery. Lying does not outweigh cursing. Murder does not outweigh theft. Once Christians have that embedded into their brains (which is impossible) then I think that the tensions will subside. I don’t think that God intended for these protests, and hate to be spewed toward one another. Period. He doesn’t want you to engage in it, or ever think that it’s okay. We’re not the religious police! You can love God and follow his word passionately, but some people go too far when it’s not their place.

Unfortunately, the friendship between Ana and I ended for other reasons, but I really wonder why sexual orientation would play such a large role in pursing friendships. Fear? Preconceived notions? The thought that God would be displeased with the idea that you are associating yourself with someone who engages in THAT kind of sin? Sin is sin. We all do it. If we were to isolate people because of their sinful behavior, then we would not associate with anyone, nor be associated with.

I never thought about ending my friendship with Sebastian because our friendship has nothing to do with his personal preferences. It doesn’t affect my life at all. It doesn’t affect his loyalty, his respect, his kindness, or his reliability. There’s no way that I would throw away that kind of friendship because of something that does not affect me at all.

Too many people are hating the person along with the sin.