The Lord will provide not for all our wants but for the things he believes we need.
I have definitely fell victim to the ‘woe is me’ pity party. I had thoughts that God was directly punishing me for other people’s mistakes. It felt like no matter how hard I tried there was a hurdle waiting around the corner to destroy everything that I had worked hard for.
I grew bitter. There was no way that struggle was supposed to last this long. I would sit around thinking “You know I could go out and sin, but instead I come to you.” It was disheartening. All He had to do was let things work in my favor and I could the rest. I liked working hard so I asked very little of him.
Well, God doesn’t work that way. He wants you to depend on him. All I had to do was pray and listen more.
My issue was that it seemed like the more I prayed, the more lost I became. I didn’t know when an opportunity came whether it was a blessing, a test, or a warning. That’s the hardest part about prayer, you have no idea what opportunities to avoid and which ones to take advantage of.
When I was younger it was difficult to believe that there was a loving God when he dragged me through Hell sometimes. I hated the fact that there was always a response to my complaints: “It may be a test”; “Give him time”; “the struggle will make you stronger”; “It may not be meant to be”. It was hard to hear. All I wanted was a definite answer. I wasn’t learning anything, but to do things on my own without needing to ask God.
It’s frustrating because we really don’t know which door God wants us to open for each situation. We just have to assume that the struggle in pursuing something mean either “yes, try harder” or “no, there’s something better for you”; a hurdle signifies a test or the lesson of patience, and excellence means yes it’s meant to be for now at least.
We are strategically built by God to be able to acquire the knowledge, experience, and strength to succeed in all that we are intended to do. Sometimes the struggle foreshadows an even greater reward. We just have to remember that something is in store for us all.